Autism Speaks Canada Vancouver Walk Kick Off Science World June 2, 2012
Please join me in wishing Friend 2 Friend Social Learning a very happy 10th birthday!
Friend 2 Friend has been providing peer play and friendship programs to children with autism and they peers for a decade!
Autism is not a behavioural disorder! Key Strategies that Promote Social Inclusion of Individuals with Autism
Autism is not a behavioural disorder!
The unique and sometimes challenging behaviours individuals on the autism spectrum exhibit are symptoms of core, often hidden, challenges within ASD. Outward behaviours are their way of communicating to us their needs or desires in the only way they can. When supporting individuals on the autism spectrum it is important to view these behaviours as red herrings (something that distracts attention from the real issue). We must continually look past the behaviours to interpret meaning in what the individual on the spectrum is communicating to us through the behaviour.
Autism is a disorder of social communication processing!
School is one of the first environments where children independently (independent of their primary caregivers) learn to play, make friends, and negotiate with peers. Schools are one of the greatest social settings in our culture today, and learning opportunities abound from the time a child is three through the end of the high school years. However, in recent years, the push towards children achieving better academic scores and standards has left little room for attention to the social relationships within the classroom and the school day. Given that research indicates that all children (including those on the spectrum) have better outcomes when they feel they have a peer group or even one close friend, educators find themselves in a quandry: how to find the extra time in the school day to cultivate this sense of social connectedness. Individuals with unique social, communication and play needs suffer the most, as their challenges often fall to the wayside. These individuals are part of our education system and to create a truly inclusive school culture, one of the primary focuses of the educational system must be on developing social relationships, acceptance, tolerance, and empathy, even in young children.
Social interactions take at least two people!
To create a truly inclusive school or community culture we must present social and communication strategies which foster increased social interactions between individuals with autism and their peers. It is imperative that we design strategies that not only focus on teaching individuals on the autism spectrum social competencies, but also design meaningful programs and activities which educate the peer group as well.
The five basic strategies that foster social inclusion for individuals with autism are the same, regardless of where an individual falls on the autism continuum in age or abilities. They are measurable strategies that can be used in an educational or community based setting.
Key Strategies that Promote Social Inclusion of Individuals with Autism
1. Start with demystification. Provide information about autism to all peers, siblings, educators, support staff and the community to ensure everyone has the same information about autism. Providing information about autism in an open and honest manner will promote understanding, acceptance and empathy toward individuals with autism throughout the school community.
2. Teach tailored prosocial communication strategies. Ensure individualized and tailored prosocial communication strategies are taught, modeled and used by all peers, siblings, educators and support staff to ensure social inclusion is happening throughout the school community.
3. Teach social competencies through experiential learning opportunities. Provide highly structured, safe, and motivating environments for individuals on the autism spectrum to play and socialize with their peers and use well-designed models and programs, such as the Integrated Play Groups Model (Wolfberg, 2003; 2009).
4. Provide regular and continuous support. Provide age-appropriate social goals and strategies that are continually updated to ensure that social interactions, play and friendships continue for these individuals throughout their life span.
5. Get out of the way. Provide “adult scaffolding” and “guided participation” (Wolfberg, 2003; 2009) to set up the play or social interaction to be highly successful, and then move out of the play or social interaction. The presence of an adult can sometimes hinder social relationships and friendships from developing within the peer group.
Whether you are supporting a kindergarten student or a student in high school, these social strategies can be – and should be – incorporated into an individual’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) or therapeutic plan. They are effective, in-the-trenches tested strategies that foster social inclusion not only for the individuals on the autism spectrum, but for all individuals with unique kinds of minds.
I am blind, not deaf! Understanding the Importance of “not about me without me”
One of things I remember most about by father was his strength. He was a very ill man but he always seemed so strong to me. Looking back, I realize it was not his physical strength but his emotional strength that I remember.
My father ran his own brokerage firm, he had four children, a wife, a nice home and he was completely blind – meaning, he did not even see shadows. In the community, people would often speak to my mother about my father, in front of him, as if he were not present. When this happened my father would say, “I am blind, not deaf” (this was the seventies before PC terms) which would of course shock the person speaking to my mother and send my siblings and me into fits of laughter.
As a child I never really understood why people exhibited ‘about me without me’ discrimination towards my father because to me he was not a blind man, he was my father who was blind.
I cannot image what it must be like to be talked about as if you were not there. How degrading and demoralizing it must feel to have someone speak over you in that manner.
As a parent and specialist supporting the social inclusion of children with autism I find it very troubling when I see/hear adults speaking in front of the children they support.
I would like to say that I rarely see this, but unfortunately, I see it more than I would like to admit. Usually, if you model the appropriate behaviour by including the child in the conversation or requesting that the adult step outside to have the conversation, the supporting adult picks up on the idea pretty quickly that “about me without me” is not okay and follows your lead.
This past week I was in a school where the “about me with out me” is a syndrome that is plaguing many of the staff. Every adult I encountered in this school was talking about the child they supported in front of him or her, and his or her peers, as if he/she were not present. It was heart sickening.
This discrimination has to stop, so in an effort to address the “about me without me” plague I decided to write out the top reasons why “about me without me” is WAY NOT COOL.
When you talk about a child in front them (and/or their peers) you are….
….breaking confidentiality
….behaving incredibly unprofessionally
….wasting time
….not providing the child an opportunity to communicate
….not practicing inclusion
….modeling a “them versus us” attitude
….setting the child apart from his or her peer group
….modeling a behaviour that peers will repeat
….modeling a behaviour that other adults will repeat
….harming your relationship with the child - THE CHILD CAN HEAR YOU!
Of course there may be times when one adult needs to convey information to another adult about the child they are supporting. In those cases please keep in mind that everyone can hear what you are saying, especially the child you are supporting. So whenever possible, do not talk about him/her without including him/her in the conversation. If you do need to talk about the child and the child cannot or should not be a part of the conversation then go somewhere private to speak, or write a note, or keep a communication book.
No one should ever have to experience the discrimination of being in the room while someone “talks about them without them”.
When Words Are Not Enough: Friend 2 Friend Programs Make Everyday World Autism Awareness Day
In 2008, the United Nations declared April 2 to be World Autism Awareness Day. For most of us in this wonderful world of autism, autism awareness is an action we practice every day, but for me awareness or what the Friend 2 Friend Model refers to as demystification is not only a daily activity in my personal and professional life, it began when I was nine years old……
On my ninth birthday I had my first sleepover with several girlfriends from my class. Even though this took place many years ago, I still clearly remember the activities we did and how much fun we had. While playing in my bedroom, one of the girls asked, “Heather, why is your father blind?” I explained that my father went blind because of complications with diabetes. My friends could see I was open to discussing my father’s condition and what that meant to my family. But for some reason, words just weren’t enough and I felt my friends just didn’t get it.
Looking back, I now recognize the unexplainable urge I had even at such a young age to find a way to help them step into our world, even briefly. So on that cold November evening, one by one, I blindfolded my friends and had them walk from my bedroom on the second floor to the kitchen on the other side of the house on the first floor (assisting them as they did so). And one by one, I watched the transformation in my friends as they changed from knowing the facts of my father’s blindness to actually feeling it. From that moment on I knew I would never have to explain myself, my family or my father again to these four friends. They became my closest friends and supporters throughout my childhood, especially when I lost my father a short time later at the age of twelve.
As parents, caregivers, educators and individuals on the autism spectrum we know all too well that sometimes the unique and unconventional characteristics of autism can be difficult for others to understand and accept. Unlike my father’s blindness, autism is an invisible condition and people unfamiliar with the mechanisms at work within this condition all too often mistake an individual’s behaviour as “choosing to act” in a manner that society often does not understand or accept. They misinterpret “can’t” with “won’t” and make erroneous and sometimes gravely damaging assumptions. And perceptions can be sometimes so very difficult to change.
My son Iain is a very capable young man in his eighteenth year. He manages the sensory, social and communication challenges of his autism with the grace and elegance that reminds me so much of my father. I believe one of the reasons Iain manages so well now is because his family, friends, educators and his community understand his unique kind of mind.
The bottom line for us is (and has always been) this: we support him, love him and accept him for who he is. Iain is very capable of explaining to others how his mind works. However, this has not always been the case. After Iain was diagnosed, I knew for his sake and for the sake of other children on the autism spectrum and their families, I needed to help our communities feel what it is like to have autism, thus the Friend 2 Friend Autism Demystification programs and model where born. Years ago I did this for the sake of my father. Today I do it for my son and others like him. Perhaps I chose my path or perhaps my path chose me all those years ago at a Friday night sleepover with a group of four friends. Whichever the case may be, it is my hope that through the Friend 2 Friend model and the programs we have created a tool for changing the attitudes and perceptions of society so that our children, and our children’s children, live in a world where every day is World Autism Awareness Day!
